Self Help and Judgement

Does it truly work when people say if you're in a bad place, you're the one responsible for it? When did we become a society having the victim take the blame for somebody else's negative behavior? It doesn’t solve anything when you are hurting and when someone makes you suffer and you get the blame for being involved. There is much advice out there blaming you for being in the situation. While there is a truth to this, there is also context to look at in your own life. At the time, the time that let up to suffering, you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you can absolutely blame somebody else for why you were in the situation you were in. You can absolutely blame family members and lovers for destroying dreams and hopes. Where and when it becomes your responsibility and your fault is when you start waking up and realizing that there's a problem. When you were at rock-bottom and you're suffering and you don't know how you're going to make ends meet, that's when you can start to take responsibility about where you're at. What makes it your fault is when you get into it again and again and again. Yes you can absolutely blame somebody else when you lose a home. You can blame somebody else when you lose the family. Stop this bullshit talk of, “you should've taken responsibility” because the thing is you were young and naïve. You just didn’t know and sometimes you don't know until it's too late. There are seeds that grew oddly and awkward through our youth. We are taught to forgive, we are taught not to judge. We're taught to put down our guards and give others chances. Yet somehow when things fall apart we wanna to give advice and say, “this is why you're in the problem it's your fault”. We cannot have it both ways. We cannot say to this young lady, it's your fault, you should've done something about this. But yet when she was a teenager we teach “don't judge this person” and “don't be angry at this person”. We hear things like “you don't know what this person's been through”. You cannot have it both ways. It is OK to judge if means keeping you safe and protecting your future. It is OK to look at a lifestyle and to look at somebody else and say that is not right for me. If you are aware now of why you are in the place that you are now, then now is the time to start to work on and free yourself of dangerous relationships. I’m in no way not saying to not forgive and to constantly judge, but these are tools in life. If we are to teach these things then both sides of the coin must be taught. Judgement can save your soul as well as put you and others in torment. Words overused and misunderstood, love, forgiveness, and judgement. These are powerful words when used with proper intention.